1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
speaknoww17
Source: etsy.com

More you might like

succeeding

funny story

funnystories

i was with my best friend on an overnight field trip and we were paired together to share a room. turns out I didn’t bring any PJ pants and i was NOT about to sleep in my jeans. i decided to just take off my Attack on Titan jacket and turn it into a pair of pants because i won’t sleep in my jeans but i’ll sleep in my metal zipper weeaboo jacket. after that, I plopped in my bed and we talked for a few minutes when I needed to go and do something. well when I get back to my bed 30 seconds later there’s this hUGE ASS SPIDER UNDERNEATH MY PILLOW. i couldn’t scream because i was that terrified. so I pranced around in my fuckin Attack on Titan jacket-pants and whisper-screamed until my friend came over with a shoe and killed it.

Source: funnystories
officialwhitegirls
weloveshortvideos

Everytime you watch this vine focus on a different person

boofbagbandito

white dress, every time

bikonciousnessa

The tan blazer 😂😂

best-seen-in-snow

All the black suits

sirl33te

shorty in the red. she didnt know what dance she wanted to do but was still on beat. amazing

femalemaincharacter

??? The woman in white at the beginning behind the lady in red who talks to the man in the tan suit just disappears??

bromeranian

she teleports, vine ends with her walking away (top has brown straps). not sure how she got there tho

Source: weloveshortvideos.com
aciidrainin
beautifulgodzilla beautifulgodzilla

I need volunteers

adelstotle adelstotle

For what?

beautifulgodzilla beautifulgodzilla

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd

how do i get in on this

falloutbats
felixves felixves

I do this thing where if i have to go to a family event where I will be expected to be a girl I pretend I am a SPY and I am IN DISGUISE AS A TEEN GIRL and my mission is to EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM MY GRANDPARENTS without giving away my real identity. works every time.

  • your dress and makeup is now a DISGUISE
  • your ‘birth name’ is now an ALIAS
  • getting told by your parents to be nice and not yell at anyone being racist is MISSION BRIEFING
  • your entire extended family are now FOREIGN DIGNITARIES and you gotta make it thru the evening without being discovered as a RADICAL SPY
  • carrying a small water pistol and one of those fake-lipstick pens in your purse helps to get in the zone. the best part of being a spy is the nifty gadgets everyone knows that.
  • BONUS if you have to bring a friend of another gender with you to pretend to be your boyfriend. you are both PARTNER SPIES and one of you has to be the cranky but soft-hearted veteran and the other has to be the endearingly-assholeish rookie. 
officialwhitegirls

Today at work I asked one of the kids what her favourite colour was and she said:

roisinlikesbooks

‘Pink and purple. They’re pretty. I used to liked yellow but I got fed up with it.’ She stares into the distance. Suddenly this five year old child in her flowery dress with matching ribbons in her hair has become a battle-hardened veteran. She’s seen some shit.

‘Too many things are yellow now’. If this were a movie she’d knock back the last of her whiskey and get up from the bar. I know in my heart of hearts this kid is sick of minions.

Source: roisinlikesbooks
tommypickles
morenoperez morenoperez

angelina jolie is so important like she teaches her adopted kids about where they were born and takes them back there and doesn’t let that culture slip away or try to assimilate them and she lets shiloh dress and present the way they want to like did you see how cute shiloh’s suit was omg and she does some amazing charity work and she’s just a great activist all around i love her

Source: 21lva
kyyliee
Don’t date a girl just because everyone else in the room can’t take their eyes off her, or that black dress hugs her curves perfectly. Date a girl who you think about while waiting for the subway. Who makes you want your words to sound like some pretentious asshole who sits at Starbucks all day with a laptop wrote them. Date a girl who makes you think of stargazing in the summer and hot drinks in the winter. Date a girl who makes certain moments of your life unforgettable. Don’t date a girl who if after two weeks she “won’t give it up” to you. Don’t date a girl who if after 6 months won’t give it up. Date a girl who you will wait till the ends of the earth ‘til she’s ready, a girl who you will gladly light the candles for. Date a girl who you will do anything to get that smile that melts your heart. Don’t date a girl who you’re dependent on. Date a girl who makes you more dependent on yourself to be better.

(via em-igma)

Active love blog xo

(via littlebookofsex-tips)

Source: nonsensicalnoelle
kyyliee
helloradness helloradness

Girls are told to be skinny but not too skinny and to wear makeup but not so much that guys can tell and to dress in revealing clothes but not too revealing or else you’re a slut and a hundred other contradictory standards so I think guys can deal with being made fun of for wearing fedoras

See this in the app Show more